It’s Personal: Relational Evangelism

Broadly speaking, there are two very different settings in which Christians will find themselves sharing the gospel: (1) sharing with strangers (e.g., a waiter, flight attendant, plumber, Uber driver); and (2) sharing with those with whom they already have close relationships (e.g., their husband, wife, brother, sister, parent, child, neighbor, or friend). For most Christians, the majority of their gospel encounters will fall into the latter category. This is often called “personal evangelism” (or “relational evangelism”), which means sharing the good news of the gospel within the context of an existing relationship.

What this article seeks to show is that through our more ordinary and routine life experiences and our attentive and thoughtful listening, along with a general gospel-mindedness, there are many ways we can naturally transition our conversations with unsaved friends, acquaintances, and loved ones to the matter of utmost importance–the gospel of Jesus Christ.

While there are many biblically faithful approaches to sharing the gospel, the approach to evangelism taken in this article centers upon communicating three truths: (1) God as Creator; (2) man as sinful and broken; (3) Christ as Redeemer. What follows is a discussion of how we can cultivate greater faithfulness and effectiveness in our personal evangelism by pointing to these three truths.

God as Creator  

Foundationally, a key introductory component of getting to the gospel message is to help an unregenerate friend or loved one see that he or she is not merely a product of evolutionary chance, but instead that they are a creature made in the likeness and image of God (Ge 1:27). They need to see that the God they stand in opposition to is their Creator (Ge 1:1), and that He has absolute dominion and authority over the earth and its creatures (Ps 24:1)–including them. And they need to see how the Creator they currently reject has been abundantly gracious to all mankind (Mt 5:45), as He causes the rain to fall on ranchers who bow the knee to Jesus Christ, while also causing rain to fall on the cracked, parched farmlands of farmers who reject Him. This same God causes warm sun rays to splash their way onto the cheeks of Jesus-loving Bible college students while doing so equally with thoroughly secularized God-hating graduate students at public universities.

There are many ways we can naturally transition our conversations with unsaved friends, acquaintances, and loved ones to the matter of utmost importance–the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Jesse Randolph

Knowing these truths about God, how can we start conversations with those individuals with whom we are closest about the reality and existence of our Creator-God? A principle of first importance is simply: listen. Listen for that friend’s remark about the cool breezes that pass through their house in the afternoon. Listen for that parent’s recognition and appreciation of a beautiful sunset. Listen for that child who is intrigued by the shape of a cloud. Listen for that classmate admiring the intricate design of a flower. Each of these presents a possible onramp to a series of follow-up questions, such as: Do you ever think about how powerful and wise God must be to have created such beauty? And do you ever think about how the same God who created everything is now upholding and sustaining everything? Did you know that the Bible teaches that Jesus created everything? Have you given thought to who Jesus is? Through keen listening and a few increasingly targeted questions, the conversation has moved from discussing a sunset to describing Jesus as the Son of God.

Another way to get to the existence of God (and eventually, the gospel) in personal evangelism scenarios is by highlighting an unbeliever’s creative ability and linking their creativity to the existence of the Creator whose image they bear. Whether it is their artistic, graphic, literary, or musical abilities, and whether their chosen instrument is a lathe, a camera, a paintbrush, or a computer program, when someone displays their creative abilities and activities, what they are ultimately doing is mimicking their Creator–albeit in a small, broken, and imperfect way. Capitalize on this! Ask questions such as You seem to enjoy crocheting. Have you ever thought about why you enjoy displaying your creativity in that way? As a Christian, I believe our creativity reflects the creativity of God, who created the whole world. The Bible teaches us that God created man in His image and that we reflect Him in many ways. Would you mind if I told you more about Him?

The point is to have one’s eyes opened and antennae up in looking for inroads into a discussion regarding who God is, which may ultimately transition to a conversation about what it means to be made right with God as one eventually presents the gospel message.

Man as Sinful and Broken

Another potential onramp into our evangelistic encounters is to help our friend or loved one to better understand man’s fallen state and the creation’s cursed condition. Evidence of mankind’s fall into sin is everywhere, whether it takes the form of unfair circumstances, strained personal relationships, dashed hopes, unfulfilled expectations, divorce, disease, death, earthquakes, fires, murder, or mayhem. So, when our unsaved friend or loved one experiences the frustration of dealing with a disobedient child, or an argument with a spouse, or the loss of a job, or tension between family members, or a cancer diagnosis, they are experiencing what humans have experienced now for multiple millennia on this planet, i.e., that there is something patently wrong in the world.

But, as difficult as each of the circumstances mentioned above may be, such circumstances also present a prime opportunity to speak of the God who created this world to be “very good,” and then to transition the discussion to speaking of humanity’s rebellion against God, which brought about the curse that now sits over His creation.

So, if an unbelieving friend, family member, or loved one voices a complaint about something going wrong in their life, consider it a prime opportunity (of course, with proper sensitivity, delicateness, and timing) to acknowledge and help them see that their experience verifies what the Bible teaches is going to happen in a broken and sin-cursed world. From there, it is a simple transition to help them see that the reason for the brokenness in the world, and the reason for the brokenness in their life, is sin. And from there, it takes one more simple transition to help them to see the solution to the brokenness in their lives lies in Jesus Christ–the serpent-crushing Savior and the sin-conquering God-Man.

Christ as Redeemer

For those who have been brought into the family of God, one mark of our new identity is that we have been redeemed through the blood of Christ. Christians have experienced the blessings of redemption which flow from our new identity in Jesus Christ.

That theme–redemption–can winsomely be woven into many of our conversations with unsaved friends and loved ones, because the reality is that while our world is sick with sin, and broken as a result of the curse, God does, in His kindness and His mercy, still graciously grant us experiences through which we can witness or partake in the righting of wrongs, the reconciliation of some relationships, and the resolution of some conflicts. Each is of these is, in some way, a form of redemption.

Accordingly, when our unbelieving friends experience different forms of redemption in their lives as an outworking of God’s common grace, make it a point of celebrating with them. Maybe it’s a friend who has been speaking to you about having marital problems, but who now reports that he or she and their spouse have worked out their issues and have reconciled. In such a context, there is an opportunity to celebrate the “redemption” of that relationship. Or maybe it’s a friend who was incapacitated by an illness or injury, but who has now recovered. Built into such a report is an opportunity to celebrate the “redemption” (or restoration) of their health. Perhaps it is a friend who thought they were going to lose their job, but their company has now made up for past lost revenues and can now keep them employed. In this context, you can celebrate with them the “redemption” of their employment situation.

What each one of these situations provides is the opportunity to springboard into a discussion of the ultimate redemption that is found only in the person and work of Jesus Christ. You can openly praise God with them for being merciful to them in allowing them (in a general sense) to experience redemption, and then point out how these instances of redemption are but pictures, woven into the fabric of human experiences, which are designed to point us to the ultimate story of redemption that God accomplished in Christ, who is the ultimate Redeemer (Jn 1:29).

Having presented them, through normal human interaction and conversation, with the truth about God their Creator, the truth about mankind and his sin nature, and the truth about Christ the Redeemer, the time eventually comes to call on them to trust in Christ for salvation. Having presented them with these essential foundational truths, we call on them to “repent and believe in the gospel” (Mk 1:15). They have been told the medicine they need for their problems (i.e., the gospel), and now they can be called upon to take their medicine.

What is presented above are some strategies for connecting the gospel to everyday life, in everyday conversations, with everyday people whom we love or are otherwise linked to. These principles are intended to serve as rudimentary runway lights, to assist the reader in directing conversations toward eventually presenting the entirety of the gospel message to those we love and care about. We do so by looking out for, and stepping into, natural seams in everyday conversation and everyday life, as we seek to speak to people we know about the reality of God their Creator, the reality of man’s sinful condition, and the reality of their need for Christ to redeem them.

This takes intentionality. This takes commitment to living evangelistically as a way of life. This means being committed to cultivating existing relationships for the sake of the gospel. This means being committed to navigating your circles of friends and family with eyes wide open. And this means being committed to fighting the fear of man as you share the message of the hope of the gospel with the people God has sovereignly placed in your life.

So go to those family gatherings, for the sake of the gospel. Go to the same restaurant or grocery store, and get to know the workers there, for the sake of the gospel. Get your haircut at the same place and get to know the hairstylists or barbers, for the sake of the gospel. And be more intentional about being a good neighbor, for the sake of the gospel. As you do so, as George Whitefield once said, “May God give you clear heads and at the same time warm hearts.”

Jesse Randolph serves as Pastor of Equipping at Mission Bible Church in Orange County, CA. He and his wife, Jenna, have four sons and one daughter. He is a graduate of The Master’s Seminary.

This article first appeared in the July/August 2021 issue of the VOICE magazine.

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